I’ve talked to a lot of men who view feminists as a bunch of psychotic lesbians who should just shut up and take their tops off.  It’s as if men don’t want to take women seriously because we’re not worth being taken seriously.  Being a feminist is very unnerving because it’s not exactly a good thing to be labeled as an erratic, emotional woman that doesn’t agree with the mainstream view.

I also think that being a feminist now a days is futile because females today don’t seem to face the same kinds of discrimination that women did 20-30 years ago.  Many feminists say that women are still under that discrimination, but that discrimination is so masked that teenaged girls and young women today don’t really see that because of everything that we are and have been exposed to.  The porn industry and actresses in Hollywood and a bunch of “power women” have emerged from the shadows and it’s as if women don’t have that struggle anymore, because girls now see these women making tons of money and being extremely successful.  Why is there any reason to have a feminist movement anymore when it seems as if women can do anything and be successful…just as successful as men?  Even though women in porn make a lot of money, I don’t necessarily think that they are successful; however, they are parading around claiming that they have achieved success because of their fame, fortune, and “power”.  I think that because of their paychecks they believe that they are on top of their game, but unfortunately they are still subjecting themselves to a form of servitude that feminism speaks out against.  Therefore, by seeing women in porn, girls grow up confused because they start to believe that that’s really power and success, but it’s not.

  Women of the feminist era have taught their daughters to reach for the stars in terms of careers and achieving success.  I think that it’s because of the feminist pioneers that we women have the opportunities that we have today and for that I am truly thankful.  Unfortunately, I think that the feminist movement failed in the area of gaining the respect of men.  I do believe that women have evolved to be successful and intelligent beings, even more so than before; however, men have not really changed all that much, especially since they still view women as objects that should cater to their every whim and need.  Because of that feminism has kind of been stomped into the ground and being a feminist is just something that you shouldn’t touch.

It’s really hard for me to say that women are being controlled because in many cases they might be, like with the whole welfare thing.  It actually makes me wonder if I am being controlled.  Then I think about everyone in the United States and I have come to the conclusion that everyone is being controlled by something.  I can honestly say that I am confused and confounded because my little bubble world doesn’t comprehend much of what this chapter is trying to tell me.  I feel as if I need to age a little bit more before I can get it, but right now I am unable to see it.

I can see how people can use the pro-life stance to control what women are able to do with their bodies.  If you ever talk to someone who is pro-life, they are so adamant about not killing the fetus that they could care less about what happens to the mother once the baby is born and as far as being able to take care of the baby; if the mother can’t they simply suggest putting the baby up for adoption like it’s an easy thing for a mother to do.  I have noticed that some people who are pro-life seem to disregard the welfare of what happens after the birth of the child.  It’s kind of weird how they are two faced like that, but I think everyone’s like that in certain situations.  With pro-life people they care mostly about the fetus getting a chance at life and whatever happens after the birthing process is pure fate, which seems really harsh.

It’s a sad position to be in and it seems like more women are affected by welfare and its problems than men because most of the time it’s the woman who takes care of the children.  I think that more aid and relief should go to these mothers because it’s sad to see them working so hard, but yet they are still unable to afford adequate nutrition for their family.  You would think that our government would help welfare dependents, but it doesn’t and I think that needs to change so that these children are better taken care of.

What porn says to me is that women have to act the way that the women do in the videos in order to sexually please a man.  It also tells me that women have to have a certain breast size that’s bigger than a C cup in order to be sexually attractive and sexually satisfying and anything less than that is merely flat-chested. Basically, porn illustrates to men how sex should be with women and also what kind of women they should be having sex with.  Men feel like they need pornography in order to feel like they have power over women because in a real world where women come with brains and emotions to not want to submit to a man’s desires in that way, they have to become fixated on a fantasy world in which the situation is that way and the woman is acting out what they want to make them feel like they are dominant and in control of her. Porn also teaches men what to strive for in a woman, therefore making it okay to be with someone on the sole basis of sexual attraction alone.  It also suggests to men that the only way to find enjoyment and sexual satisfaction in a sex partner, she has to look similar to the girls in the porn videos.

The real question is why men flock to porn in the first place.  Mostly, from what I hear, it’s fun and exciting.  I can’t see how watching two people who’ve just met maybe an hour before, or in a previous video can be fun or exciting, especially since you aren’t the one actually doing anything. 

In one of the readings that we were required to do, we learned about pop reaching the Arab world.  I say, what’s the big deal? I watched the Arabic pop video and it was completely G or PG depending on the circumstances.  I’ll have to admit, though, the words really didn’t make any kind of sense, but I don’t think that mattered because it basically focused on that girl dancing behind the microphone.  I actually think it’s cool that music is being spread around the world because it adds to the variety that may or may not exist in the world already. However, it’s kind of weird because the Arab nation is known for their women being covered and modest, so to see Arabic women coming out with PG rated mainstream sexuality is almost shocking. 

 Of course there’s always that link between music and sexuality.  Female music artists do have to use a little sex appeal in order to be widely popular, especially with male audiences.  I’ve noticed that men aren’t really all that interested in anything if it didn’t have an element of sex appeal to it.  Even women are drawn to the sexuality of a music video.  It’s to the point where girls will start to dress and act the part in order to attract men.  Female sexuality and music is being adopted all over the world.  I don’t think that it’s going to stop because the whole idea of sex appeal and sales is so widespread now.

I’m proud of my mother for many reasons and although I may be bias, I believe that my mother is perfect.  She is the one person that I secretly strive to be like simply because she has taught me so much about her experiences and how to deal with myself.  She is the one who motivates me to find myself and grow as an independent and strong woman.  She is the one who I can talk to and I know she’ll be there for me and listen to everything I have to say, even when it’s nothing.  To me, my mother is everything from support to counselor and she is such an amazing woman.  She’s been through so much for me.  She’s fought for me and she’s encouraged me when I thought that I couldn’t do something….she let me know that I could do anything.  She’s the one who built up my self esteem and told me that I was her beautiful daughter.

 Through the eyes of a bias child, I love my mother and I think she is the most amazing and beautiful woman on the planet for bringing me into this world.  I love her for everything that she has done for me and I love her for who she is inside.  In truth, she did not have to raise me or take care of me, but she sacrificed her time and she made the choice to do for me and take care of me, which is what makes her in my eyes, the perfect mother. 

To say that women of color struggle with control of their reproduction is definitely news to me.  I guess this is the result of me living in a small bubble world.  As far as the difference between white women and black women, I can kind of see why white women would be better off than black women because for black women, it’s really unacceptable, or at least that’s the way it is with the women of color that I know.  I think that when it comes to situations like abortion, both black women and white women feel whatever their environments have imposed on them to feel.  I really think it depends upon the person and is coupled by the woman’s background and environment.

The labiaplasty is a surgical procedure where a woman can go in and have the extra skin cut from the labia to make it more aesthetically pleasing.  There is also another surgical procedure called “vaginal rejuvenation” where a woman can get her vaginal opening tightened.  And finally, there’s a new procedure that I saw on that show Dr. 90210 where this woman got a “G-shot”.  A G-shot is where the doctor injects botox into your G-spot so that you’ll have better, longer, stronger orgasms.

Personally, I think this arises out of that insecurity that a woman gets from sleeping around.  If you notice, none of these procedures were even heard of 20, 30, 40 years ago, so basically when your loose, there was no hope for you.  But now, you can go to the doctor a brand new vagina…literally.  You won’t quite be a virgin, but you’ll be somewhere closer to it than you were before.  It defies nature, but then again most of the things that happen in a plastic surgeon’s office defy nature.  

I don’t know if I’d ever have anything like this done because my vagina is perfect.  My husband is completely against plastic surgery. However, if I ever did get plastic surgery, I would get breast implants because I think that it would be a fun alternative, but realistically, there’s nothing wrong with me, so there’s no reason to modify my body.  Besides, they wouldn’t last very long anyway and I wouldn’t want to be an 85 year old grandmother with fake boobs, although I’m pretty sure that will probably be the norm by then.

I can see a lot of similarities in the way that the family handled the mother getting pregnant and surprisingly I noticed that Wil’s being gay was a lot better than the mother’s wedlock baby.  However, the shame that is shared between parent and child are along the same lines.  To Wil’s Grandfather, her mother’s pregnancy was an undeniably shameful act.  In the same sense Wil being gay was incredibly shameful to her mother.  There was even a point in the movie where her mother asked her how she could tell her that she loved her and then tell her that she was gay all in the same sentence. 

I did find some relevant material content in the movie that had to do with the question of is it love or is it something else.  Both Wil and Vivian were attracted to one another the first time they met.  However, there relationship didn’t really seem to be based on sex-that just seemed to be something they did on the side and in secret.  Wil was somewhat afraid of loving Vivian because she didn’t want her mother to find out what she was up to.  It came across as Wil being shameful of Vivian when really she did care a lot about her.  That fear is what drove them apart and it was during that time apart when Wil realizes that it doesn’t matter what the world thinks or her mother thinks, it’s about them being in love with each other and sharing themselves.  So in a sense, they were sexually attracted to each other, but at the same time they were able to let the love grow in their relationship. 

“Saving Face” isn’t really my kind of movie; however, it does bring out issues concerning women and how we are treated in society.  If a woman gets pregnant and she’s not married, it’s very hard to gain respect and society seems to view the woman as lower than what she would normally be.  It’s kind of sad because not every woman plans to get pregnant outside of marriage, but to look down on them instead of helping them, I think that’s wrong.  It takes two people to get pregnant-a man and a woman; however, in society it’s the woman who has done wrong and this is probably because she has to bear the child.  She can’t hide it once she begins to show.  The man on the other hand can deny everything and it’s believeable, especially since there is no immediate proof.  I thought it was very admirable of the man who did impregnate Wil’s mother to stand up and admit to being the father, even though it was a very shameful thing to admit to.